Pickles & Ice Cream
by JaggerK
Summary: Selina's afternoon craving grosses Dick out and sends Bruce into a panic.
1. Chapter 1

Everything but the story itself belongs to DC. Well, maybe not the pickles.

Bruce and Dick stepped into the kitchen to find Selina sitting at the counter with ice cream surrounded by a wide variety of toppings and bananas. She already bananas and chocolate ice cream in her bowl.

"Good timing." Selina grinned at Dick. "Just finished with my toppings. Other ice cream flavours are still in the freezers though. I just wanted chocolate."

"Make your own banana splits." Dick grinned back at her. "Awesome." Dick grabbed vanilla ice cream and a bowl.

Bruce kissed Selina. "You look pleased with yourself."

"Very. I had a craving." She put a spoonful of ice cream and toppings in her mouth.

Dick picked up a jar and frowned at it. "Selina, why would you put pickles on your banana split?"

Bruce, who had turned to walk toward the fridge, spun back to look at Selina in horror. She smirked at him.

"I like pickles in my ice cream. You should try it sometime."

Dick put the jar back down on the counter with a shudder. "Nah, I'll pass."

 **For those of you who don't know old wives' tales say that women only eat pickles and ice cream when they're pregnant. Selina isn't pregnant. I've eaten pickles and ice cream since I was five and just loaned that oddity to Selina.**


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing, it all belongs to DC. Okay, the pickles are mine.

Bruce and Dick stepped into the kitchen to find Selina sitting at the counter with ice cream surrounded by a wide variety of toppings and bananas. A decadent banana split was built in her bowl.

"Good timing." Selina grinned at Dick. "Just finished with my toppings. Other ice cream flavours are still in the freezers though. I just wanted chocolate."

Bruce took a moment to enjoy the sight of the grinning woman with her banana split before him. Neither Gotham's upper crust nor the Justice League would truly believe this was the woman they thought they knew. Her hair scooped up in a ponytail, grinning at Dick like a teenager over a banana split heaped with enough chocolate and assorted toppings his teeth hurt to look at the thing.

This was the real woman though. The one she showed to a select few. The one who loved him regardless of how messed up he was, who admitted she was pretty messed up herself but wasn't letting that stop either of them.

In his musing he'd missed most of Dick and Selina's conversation but the boy leapt forward suddenly toward the freezer, snapping him out of his thoughts. He moved around the island to stand next to her and gently caressed her throat with one large hand while she looked up at him.

Bruce leaned down to kissed Selina. He muttered to her as he pulled away. "You look pleased with yourself."

"Very. I had a craving." She put a spoonful of ice cream and toppings in her mouth. 

He nodded and, with one last caress, turned to walk away toward the fridge. Behind him he heard Dick speak in a disgusted tone of voice.

"Selina, why would you put pickles on your banana split?" 

The blood rushed from Bruce's head. If he had been anyone else he might have thought that he had a moment of weakness where he thought to grab the counter for support. He was Batman, though, so that couldn't possibly have happened.

He'd heard of the odd craving that women sometimes had but Selina couldn't possibly…..no, they were careful. Accidents could happen. He knew the statistics, he was Batman after all. No, accidents could NOT happen. He was BATMAN. Accidents simply were not acceptable, not part of the carefully crafted plan.

All the thinking took place in a few mere seconds. The blood rushed back into Bruce's head and he spun back around to face Selina. She smirked at him.

"I like pickles in my ice cream. You should try it sometime."

Dick, blissfully unaware of the near fatal heart attack that Catwoman had attempted to dish out to Batman, put the jar back down on the counter with a shudder. "Nah, I'll pass."

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I own my own business and Christmas was crazy for us. Eagle Dreamer put in a special request to see Bruce's side of this story and I had a bit of inspiration. I hope you like it. If you don't….I blame Christmas retail fatigue. :D


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